||The Temperamental Transformation❤||

Evolution of me.png

2015

Image result for anime happy

Young, innocent, a mincing boy with everlasting naiveté and a small vial of optimism within his soul. I came into the world of deviantART pure, loving, caring. Hoping that one day I could be one of the famous artists like Kphoria or otherwise. I was just starting art then… and I had next to no knowledge of the outside world – no knowledge of the cruel and disgusting processes that living being impose on another – no reason to believe that a male needed to be present for a baby to be concieved – only my book smarts.
I was much happier then… smiling, free.. I felt so welcome here at first. Getting to talk to one of my then-idols, meeting three new friends (one of which I’d not heard from since), and overall just feeling accomplished in myself. I felt like I actually meant something, even if I was nothing but a neutron, floating on a dust speck which was tucked neatly into a small pocket of the universe.
For once… maybe everything would turn out right…

TWO AND-A-HALF YEARS LATER | 2017

Image result for anime angry

Heartbroken. My soul liquidated. The pessimistic cloud that was my true self had manifested into something bigger, stronger. I had always been a resentful person in one way or another, whether it was from the rotten apples at my school, constantly spoiling the harvest, or of the morons who murder their former beloveds, or the ones who cheat on them, or never loved them at all! The ones who run into the street without looking both ways, you name it… but that abhorrence has only been amplified since. New knowledge entered my mind… unwanted knowledge. Homophobes, religious hatred, rape, the true way that babies are born… the perversion and foul language that sours the soul of nearly all I come into contact with. Infidelity. Mistrust.
The worst of these…. my sworn archenemy – the one who has taken a hold of almost every single one of my companions, especially the ones that I hold closest to myself, the ones allowed just outside the icy basin at the foot of my Fortress of Kent. The one who always wins, who always gets what he wants; no matter how many times I speak, how many gifts I make, no matter how many times I reach out of my protective shell, at the threat of my own life, he always wins. Always forcing their hands to the blade, to turn it towards their own, faithful skin – to bring desires of leaping off of cliffs, disobeying doctors, thrusting themselves towards unfaithful partners. It is this enemy… the one thing I can never conquer. Although he has no hold on me, he is the very bane of my existence… for nearly all I show the slightest bit of compassion towards are subject to his grasp.

I have matured much from that jocular, life-relishing boy from two years ago. I have learned the truth – the sting of reality. That the vessels containing the sweet honey of perspicacity that wander so helplessly in this world are the minority. That true love, for me at least, is impossible to find. That happiness is simply a veil, a facade… a lie. Optimism is just one big act. While, yes, you feel great for a little while.. those little accomplishments, those few people that lift your spirits.. but you know in the end you’ll just slip right back in the ditch.
The world is truly a horrible place, and most people in it. That people, in general, do not want to be your friend, or want anything to do with you. That the true “goodness” in this world, is rapidly shrinking – it is now the minority. This realm of darkness is my home, and I must accept it, lest I spend an eternity in purgatory for attempting to bring myself to the sweet Heaven… where true happiness resides. (sorry athiests.)

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

My deviantART: Stewie106
My YouTube – https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCy74hlHd3qFLneKkGBZF7yw?

Advertisements

Catfishing-

Catfishing. It’s really funny.
You can’t talk to people irl well.. (plus all of the people you know are either in a relationship, related to you, stupid, or gay), but online, someone could lead you on easily for literal decades and have no feelings whatsoever.

Goody. Honestly I think anyone who does that should get a yeast infection but that’s just me. (An episode of Catfishing: The Show came on this morning and got me thinking, so that’s why I’m on this random tangent)

||The Evils of Silence||

Words truly can hurt. But sometimes silence hurts more.
Words pierce the heart like a sword. But there are times when none at all completely suffocates it. Shrouds it in a cloud of hopelessness.

Words shove people around like bowling pins. But silence has the capability to thrust even the highest of individuals into the lowest and darkest abyss, cast into the dim, ironclad Maiden of Despair, of which there is no return.

Words may find their way to cut through the diamonds of stoicity, but it is silence which transforms diamonds into stone.
Unhearing.
Unbreathing.
A cold wind… a cold, lifeless wind, filling the air with deathly silence.
The silence.
It’s anger seeps through every living thing, and with it’s succubus kiss it destroys what words cannot – hope.
Hope.. overcome by hate, enters into a rapid entropy. An inevitable state of decay, leading to it’s degeneration into dust. Nothingness. Nonexistence.

Words are a Weapon. Silence.. is a killer.
One has learnt so through difficult means… and has wished that his findings be shared to prevent any further darnnation of life.

The life which chooses to be silent concerning the affairs of a soul undeserving of death.
❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

My deviantART: Stewie106
My YouTube – http://www.youtube.com/channel/UCy7

 

|| Axinite, Vengeful Warrior ❤||

I’ve come to realize in my short tenure on dA that a few of my personas represent a specific aspect of my psyche.

|| Axinite, Vengeful Warrior~ || by Stewie106

Cold, calculating, powerful. These traits make up the wrathful Axinite which is within my vast Rogue’s Gallery of characters. He is the very essence of my negative emotions; anger, hatred, pent up sadness, betrayal.

Due to his only companion revealing himself to be a Judas under a veneer of kindness, Axinite is absolutely untrusting of anyone he meets, and sees any other life form’s requirements less important than his own. Howver, he retains a spark of humanity – he does not like to kill. A quote from Axinite reads:
I have no need for you to live. But I have no need for you to die.

He represents the possible future that is in store for myself – untrusting, uncaring, for the betrayals and apathy shown to me by others. He represents my pent up sadness and unwilling to reveal my sensitive side in public, for fear of being hurt. Of being emotionally destroyed, like Axinite.

Theme: youtu.be/L0bcRCCg01I

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

My deviantART: Stewie106
My YouTube – www.youtube.com/channel/UCy7